Last Resort Love Page 15
“It was basically paradise,” Nick replied. “Between the pool in the summer and the skiing in the winter, I was completely sold on it as a kid. As a teenager, I found a new reason to love it.”
“Oh?”
“Working at the lodge every summer was great for getting dates. There were girls to flirt with all day long. Even bussing tables, it was easy to have fun. Most of my buddies wanted to work here too because all the out-of-town girls always seemed more interesting and more fun.”
“That sounds like heaven for a high schooler. The dating pool had to be pretty small back then. Heck, even now. Weren’t you dating Angie back then?”
Nick looked steadily at Krissa.
“That was a long time ago,” he replied, but his tone made her think that he wasn’t too keen on the topic. But after a moment, he continued. “Most people know some parts of the story, but I guess I ought to give you my side before you hear some part that makes me look like a bad guy. We dated in junior year of high school, but broke up just before summer started. I don’t even really remember why. I think she was playing games to make me jealous. She liked drama and fighting and making up. I avoided her all summer and then by senior year, she had a new boyfriend and mostly ignored me, but then we hooked up again right after graduation.”
Krissa imagined younger versions of Nick and Angie romping around the lake and the lodge and a streak of jealousy pierced her heart. She flushed up uncomfortably.
“I was on top of the world that summer. My uncle had invited me to learn the business and to train to run the resort for him so that he could retire.”
Nick leaned back in his chair and Krissa thought his expression was almost irritated.
“I’m still never sure quite how it happened,” Nick continued, “but I ended up proposing to Angie at the end of summer right before we went to college. My buddies laughed at me. It was all pretty lame and childish, and I regretted it by the end of the first week of classes. But luck was on my side. The Wescott Springs gossip circle finally got word that Angie was dating a senator’s son and that she was seeing stars and dollar signs at the same time.”
“Was it true?”
“I was hoping it was. I got her to tell me what her plans were for one Saturday night during football season and then I surprised her at a party. It was too easy. Just like some movie where she was sitting in this guy’s lap and his hand was nestled between her thighs. I saw red right off even though all I’d wanted for the last month was to dump her. I punched the guy and told her it was over.”
“That was pretty crappy of her,” Krissa said.
“Angie was a gold digger back then. She was only interested in me when she found out my uncle was training me up to take over the resort. She’s just like her mother, who dated every rich, single man who vacationed in Vail. Her mom actually found a wealthy investor guy and left Angie installed in a fancy condo, all alone, for her senior year of high school. In retrospect, it wasn’t too surprising that a wealthy senator’s son was much more appealing.”
“But now she lives here again. What happened?”
Nick laughed. “Well, the senator’s son didn’t like being two-timed either, and he ditched her that weekend too. I heard that she dated a series of trust fund kids, but here she is in Wescott with no marriages under her belt.”
Krissa wondered just how bitter Angie might be about still being single and working as a principal of an elementary school in her hometown. She might have adjusted her priorities, or she might be an angry woman with a chip on her shoulder. Hard to say.
“You two don’t seem at all awkward around each other,” Krissa said. “No matter what you say, even if it was back in college, it had to hurt.”
“I’m not saying it felt good, but I was pretty young and dumb. I just got caught up in the moment. It was a long time ago.”
“Some of us used to laugh about catching a rich man,” Krissa said with her eyes focused on her wine glass. “And we even made plans to go to the polo grounds on a spring weekend to see if we could snag a catch.” Krissa laughed with a deprecating tone and added, “In the end, not a single one of us ever went. It seemed kind of pathetic. Who really wants a guy just for his money and a few extra creature comforts?”
“Lucky me,” Nick said. “I managed to find the one-off gold digger.” He raised his glass in a mock toast, and Krissa tipped her glass at him in salute. Nick looked down at his food.
Krissa didn’t want to press the point anymore, but if he hadn’t had a serious relationship since his Angie fiasco, well, it sounded like he’d been burned and was not willing to trust again. Or he was still carrying a torch for her. It didn’t sound like it though. Krissa felt like she was still missing a piece of the puzzle. He had lost his parents when he was young. It was probably a trust thing. Guess that made them a matched pair.
As if he was following her train of thought, Nick said, “We seem to be two of a kind.”
Krissa laughed awkwardly and decided she’d had enough of this conversation. It was good sport to probe into Nick’s history, but the door to the gory details of her past was closed.
They cleaned up the dinner dishes and with a little coaxing, Nick led Krissa to the deck. The sun was setting in a soft, cloudless glow of pinks and purples, and pinpoints of lights wavered and blurred across the lake. With a flourish, Nick poured glasses of an Italian red wine and stoked up the blaze in the stone fire pit on the deck.
“Sipping on Chianti always gets me dreaming of Italy,” Krissa said. “Those beautiful rolling hills filled with vineyards and adorable churches and villages.”
“You sound like you’ve been there,” Nick said.
“I wish,” Krissa said dreamily. “It always looks so peaceful and romantic. I’ve just seen it in the movies and it looks divine.”
“You should plan a trip there,” Nick said. “It sounds like a dream of yours.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Krissa said with uncertainty.
Nick looked at her steadily with a question in his eyes. “What do you dream of?”
Krissa was silent and stared pensively at the fire. Nick waited. His eyes were serious, but patient.
“I don’t really know what I dream of anymore,” she said and frowned. “I used to only dream of getting my teaching degree. It was the sole focus of my life for five years. I was lucky and landed a job right out of school, but once I got my first year jitters over with, I think I understood that I wanted to teach in a small school district. At the end of my second year, I got laid off. I decided to make a change and well, here I am. I do love teaching.”
Nick gave her a funny look that Krissa couldn’t interpret. She almost laughed at how much she had cut from her story. She’d run almost a thousand miles to escape Tim Finchley’s betrayal, the miscarriage, and her failure.
Krissa wondered if Nick sensed she was leaving out some significant details. She waited for the familiar ache to pierce her, but Tim Finchley felt more like a dim echo from the distant past.
“What about now? No new dreams now that you are a teacher?” he asked.
“Teacher of the year?” she said flippantly.
Nick’s expression closed off a little. She twirled her wine glass between her fingers.
“It sounds funny to say,” Krissa said quietly, “but I think I’m fresh out of new dreams right now. It took everything I had to get my degree—two jobs and a load of school loans and plenty of late nights studying. Last year, I got distracted with the end of a bad relationship. It was a big deal for me to move away from my family and come to a town where I was a complete stranger.”
Nick’s eyes were warm in the firelight, and Krissa felt relieved. She had finally said something to him about her failure with Tim. She hoped that he wouldn’t press her for details. Nick placed his hand over hers and lightly stroked her soft skin. His touch soothed her soul and she felt her spirit rise.
“I don’t know what’s next,” she said quietly. “All I’ve thought about since I was sixte
en was getting into college and becoming a teacher. I was so busy helping my mom around the house and keeping my brother, David, out of trouble that I don’t know what else there is. Everything was going according to my little plan. I got into college and made good grades.”
Krissa hesitated for a moment and then plunged on. “I met a nice guy in my junior year and he proposed the day I earned my teaching degree. It was like all the pieces of the puzzle were coming together in the only possible way they could. My little playbook of life that I imagined as a teen was coming true.”
Nick leaned in.
“And then it all fell apart. My fiancé was cheating on me and so…we broke up.”
Chapter 18
KRISSA almost laughed at such an edited version of what she had felt. Lost a baby. Lost her job. Lost her happiness. Lost her faith in the future. Well, she could talk about the old job.
“Would you believe, on the same day I got the news that I was getting laid off at the end of the school year?” Krissa saluted the air with her wine glass.
Nick whistled in amazement and said, “Double whammy.”
Krissa arched her eyebrows in wry agreement.
“I lucked out and got a one-year position in the same district, but it didn’t get renewed. Which left me unemployed again.”
“Then what?” Nick asked.
“With all my plans in complete shambles,” she continued, “I think I did the first really spontaneous thing in my life…I logged onto the Internet and pulled up a map of the country and closed my eyes and jabbed my finger at Vail.”
Nick laughed.
“I did a job search and Wescott Springs was the first place with a position for my grade level,” Krissa said. “Like it was meant to be. And presto, here I am.”
Krissa spread out her arms and hands as if to say, “Ta-da.”
“But that’s as far as I’ve gotten,” Krissa said.
“Almost like you are waiting?” Nick asked. “Maybe taking a breather.”
“Licking my wounds is more like it,” she said.
Nick stared at her for a few moments and started to open his mouth but hesitated. Krissa felt the wine warm her up and loosen her spirit. Maybe she could trust him a little. She smiled at him and watched his eyes glow in the shimmering light of the fire.
“I think maybe something more happened in that breakup,” Nick said softly. “Something that really jolted you?”
“You think so?”
“Mm-hmm.”
She couldn’t wait to change the subject, yet she wanted to blab every last detail to Nick. Every sad detail from getting layoff news in the morning, to seeing her fiancé kissing another woman, to throwing his stuff out on the front porch, to seeing the first signs of blood spotting, then finally to the long night in the hospital losing the baby.
It almost seemed as if it might hurt a little less if she told Nick. Was this what trust felt like? Maybe.
Without a word, Nick poured more wine into her glass and ran his hand down her arm. Reassuring. Warm.
“Did I tell you that his name was Tim?”
Nick nodded.
“We were always this perfect little couple and best friends,” Krissa said and laughed with a wee edge to her voice. “We had all of the same friends…we did all of the same things. We finished each other’s sentences and remembered all of our firsts—first date, first kiss, our song, first I love you.
“He even waited for the perfect moment to propose—at the party celebrating my teaching credential. Two big steps on the path to becoming grown-ups. We picked an apartment together and moved in right before I started my teaching job that fall. We set our wedding date for June—like all self-respecting brides.” Krissa sipped again from her glass. “Like a June date really matters?” Krissa asked with a shrug.
Nick murmured a few encouraging words, and Krissa allowed a lopsided smile to escape.
“You know…I think the first crack in all of this stupid perfection was getting my first performance review.”
Krissa flicked her eyes at Nick and saw caring and concern reflected back at her. The tightness in her chest eased.
“It was a great review and the principal loved me, the students gave me two thumbs up, and even the senior staffers thought I showed lots of potential. The problem was Tim. He didn’t seem that excited for me. No congrats. Just a, ‘Wow’ and he belted a beer back.
“I never even thought to figure out why he wasn’t excited for me. Well, the next couple of months just got worse and worse. He was more and more distant. We would go out and he’d barely hold my hand.”
“Then what happened?” Nick asked.
“Well, skip forward a few months,” Krissa said, “and lots of hurt feelings and a postponed wedding date—his great Aunt Emily passed away at the young age of 98. It was too traumatic for him and he couldn’t even think of marrying with such a fresh wound.”
Nick laughed.
“Yes, I know. I think even I knew he was grasping at straws and was just too chicken to break it all off.” Krissa laughed too. Her heart felt light for a moment and she saw the ridiculousness of it all.
Krissa laughed harder and Nick joined in.
“Don’t laugh,” she said and giggled more. “She was his favorite great aunt.”
“And very unexpected,” Nick added.
“She was very active for her age,” Krissa said.
“Nursing home?”
“Yes, for fifteen years. I think she’d had several strokes.”
“Oh,” Nick said, and he tried to stifle his laugh. “It was sad.”
“I don’t think Tim had even seen her since he was ten.”
“Very deep family relationship.”
“Boy, that sure should have been my sign!” Krissa said. She smiled at her own silliness.
“So how did it all end?” Nick asked.
“Badly!”
“I figured that.”
“Tim was supposedly having a night out with his buddies, so my girlfriend decided to drag me to the movies to keep me from moping about my impending job layoff. Turns out, Tim and I still had the same tastes in movies. As Ginny and I came up to the back of the line for tickets, there Tim was with his arm around a woman, and he was whispering in her ear while her hand was slid into his back pocket.”
“That couldn’t have looked good,” Nick said.
“It was like some scene from a movie. He nuzzled her neck and she threw back her head. She giggled and tossed her hair.”
Krissa grew quiet and remembered the searing pain that had shot through her chest and then stabbed her in the abdomen. Nick didn’t need to know about that. Not yet anyway. He didn’t need to think that she was a pitiful, hysterical mess.
“My mouth must have fallen open and I think I fell back onto my friend. I was speechless, but Ginny wasn’t.
“She hollered some really choice words at him about his heritage and even promised some future dire voodoo punishment on him! I think she’d seen the curse on the Internet.”
“Good friend,” Nick agreed.
“She’s awesomesauce.”
Krissa’s mind filled up with the terrible night and the cramping and then the rush to the emergency room. All to no avail. Her little nine-week baby was gone. Her fingers trembled to stroke her belly, but she stilled her hand. She switched off the thought.
“It was classic breakup from that point,” Krissa said and willed herself to laugh again.
Nick didn’t laugh and squeezed her hand.
“Ginny and I packed up all of his crap in green garbage sacks and left them in the yard. Ginny broke half of his CDs and his MP3 player and almost lit his mound of stuff on fire.” Krissa groaned. “Good grief, you are probably so done with this stupid story.”
“You’re fine.”
Krissa shook her head.
“Seriously, continue,” Nick said and pressed her hand again. The warm hand sent tingles through her and warmed her. Tim seemed incredibly far away and long ago.
With a sheepish look, Krissa stared at her hands and flushed.
“Not really. We exchanged a few text messages to figure out last rent and stuff like that. I was pretty mad and hurt. He moved in with his girlfriend immediately and then in less than a month they moved to Tucson.”
“What then?”
“It didn’t matter what Tim said. I could never trust him again. He didn’t love me anymore and I didn’t fit in with how he wanted to live his life. I think he felt smothered.” Krissa tilted her head thoughtfully. “You know, I was so wrapped up in living some notion of a perfect life. I was blind to everything.”
“Was it perfect?” Nick asked.
“On the surface, yes,” Krissa said in a tired voice.
The baby was probably a big reason why Tim had flaked out on her. Life had gotten very real, very quickly. They weren’t just playing house and pretending to be adults. A baby was serious business. She couldn’t talk it about to Nick. Not yet.
“I’m not really mad at him anymore,” Krissa said. “I think he was immature and stupid. And he sure didn’t know how to end it with me.” How did you break up properly with a fiancée who’d just told you that you were going to be a papa?
Krissa suddenly felt guilty that she wasn’t telling Nick the whole truth. He was so kind and sympathetic. Should she tell him the whole story? No, she’d already dumped way too much drama on him.
“Well, I sure didn’t know how to break up with him either! I just ran away from him and my life,” Krissa said, “and now, here I am.”
Nick laughed and then said, “Nope, there’s no playbook on how to break up.” He raised his glass to her. “Here’s to taking chances.” Nick toasted to her. “I’m sure glad you landed here.”
A pleased, surprised smile slowly spread over Krissa’s face.
“I think old Tim was an idiot to let you out of his sight.”
Krissa flushed and lowered her eyes.
“You know there is a lot more to the story?” she whispered huskily.